Arguing with yourself (and losing)
by IntenslyHonest
Summary: Castiels college life is perfect until the Winchesters, namely the older, beautiful brother, steps quietly into his life.
1. Chapter 1

Castiel thought life was going great. He was going to college and finally out of his strict, overbearing parents' house. He had scholarships and lived in a dorm on campus, and a part time job at a coffee shop to help buy things he wanted. School came pretty simple for him, and on his time off he would sit in his dorm and read. Every once in a while he was coaxed into going out with a few friends, never anything crazy, mind you, but enough to not be considered a hermit. He was happy with his life for the time being.

Yes, Castiel had a wonderful life. Or so he thought.

It wasn't until befriending Sam Winchester that Castiel began looking at what he was missing. Sam was a bright, giant of a man, just starting college, and a very happy-go-lucky type of person. He had a personality that made everyone around him smile. Castiel was glad he met a kind hearted, hardworking individual like Sam, who was quickly turning into one of his best friends. Another piece of life that made Castiel happy.

But it changed one day when Castiel was walking with Sam out of the building of their last classes of the day. They were laughing and talking about the reading homework they had been assigned when at the corner of Castiels' eye, he saw a man leaning on a huge black car, arms crossed, with a smirk plastered on his face. Castiel turned to look at the man, who seemed entranced by the boys' conversation.

"Oh…" Castiel whispered, just loud enough for Sam to barely hear. The man in question was gorgeous. He was tall, not as tall as Sam, but definitely bigger than Castiel himself. He had big, broad shoulders that made him look like he lifted very heavy things for a living. His hair was a golden brown, and blew gently in the soft summer wind. But the part of him that stuck out the most was his eyes. They were a piercing green color, the brightest green Castiel had ever seen on a person. Very intense. And they were looking straight into his own.

He could feel the heat radiating from his face.

"Uh, Castiel, this is my big brother." Sam said, nudging him with his shoulder. Castiel hadn't even realized they had walked straight up to the man, who was but a mere three feet away from his face.

The big brother.

Damn.

"Castiel, huh? Dean." The gorgeous man held out his hand and Castiel looked down to stare at it. It was the most beautiful hand Castiel had ever seen. He looked back to the man's face, who was now tilting his head to the side, eying him curiously. Castiel shook himself out of his head and clasped Deans hand.

"Nice to meet you." He smiled shyly, before mentally kicking himself. Was he being completely obvious?

Well, if he was, Dean didn't let on.

"Sammy, you 'bout ready to go? Dinner at Bobby's tonight, remember?"

"Oh yeah, of course." Sam said, turning to Castiel. "Well, I gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow, Castiel."

Castiel nodded. "Yes, have a good evening." He lowered his eyes to the ground, avoiding the gaze of the older, very attractive brother.

"Yeah, good meetin' ya, Cas."

Cas?

Castiel had never had a nickname before, other than the embarrassing "Cassie" his older brother Gabriel had dubbed for him.

He rather liked it.

He smiled to himself and looked up slowly, eyeing the brothers who were getting into the behemoth of a car. He watched them sit and the car roared to life. Sam adjusted his seat belt while Dean reached over to turn on the radio, blasting some sort of heavy metal thru the very loud speakers. He watched as Dean placed his hands on the wheel, and turned his head to look at Castiel.

He smiled.

And then he was gone.

Castiel stood in the same spot for a few moments, memorizing the look on Deans' face.

Sam was his friend.

Dean was Sams' brother.

They were close.

He would be seeing him a lot, he thinks.

And this is where Castiel's life started getting a bit complicated.

Luckily for Castiel, he was too busy with schoolwork the next few days, and was able to put Dean out of his mind mostly. The hardest time however, was just before bed, as he lie under his comfortable covers, thoughts of Dean would flash through his mind. Those strong arms, the piercing green eyes. The smile that looked like it could light up a room. Castiel felt bad about thinking of his best friends brother while he pleasured himself, but as long as no one found out, what was the harm?

Sam didn't mention the strange interaction between his friend and his brother, and their friendship continued on as normal. Castiel made it a habit to part ways with Sam just before they reached the parking lot, where he knew Dean would be waiting for his brother. He did catch a few glances at Dean, who usually stayed in the car listening to his music, but there were a few times when he was sitting on his hood, cigarette in hand, enjoying the breeze as he waited. Dean often caught his eye and smiled, and Castiel had to stop himself from literally melting on the sidewalk.

Eventually, the week was over, and his Saturday morning shift at coffee shop was about to begin. Castiel felt good about the day; he was caught up on his course work for the following week, and all his bills had been paid for the month. He was actually looking forward to work, where he could laugh with his coworker and friend Charlie, a red headed genius that he had known since his first semester of college. She was smart and funny, and as much of a geek as Castiel when it came to movies and such.

"I swear, Castiel, you should've came with us! The Hobbit gave The Lord of the Rings Trilogy a run for its money!"

"I would've loved to go with you, Charlie, but I had class the next morning, and didn't feel like standing in line all day to see the midnight premier. Not all of us can run through our day on caffeine and 5 hour energy drinks." He replied, cleaning off the machines before the store opened for the day. It was 6am, and the shop usually didn't have very many customers on a Saturday.

"Well, it would've been worth it, believe me."

"Do you really think Hermione would've done it?"

"Oh, don't even try to use my own words against me." Castiel snickered.

The bell to the shop rang and Castiel turned to greet their first visitor. The word 'Hello' fell dead on his lips as he drank in the sight of Dean, dressed in jeans and a tight fitting t-shirt.

"Castiel, you're attracting flies." Charlie whispered and Castiel quickly closed his mouth and composed himself.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas. Didn't know you worked here."

"Uh, yeah, just on weekends, and sometimes after class."

"That's cool. I really need some coffee this morning. Majorly hung over and a lot of work to do."

Castiel nodded as professionally as he could. "What would you like?"

Dean smirked and turned his head away, seemingly staring at the wall. The action was not unseen by Castiel, who raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Just a black coffee. Biggest one you got." He turned back to Castiel, smile still on his face. Castiel nodded and set about brewing a fresh pot for him. Dean sat at the counter and placed his hand under his chin, watching patiently as Castiel poured in the ground beans and turned the machine on. He was surprised when he turned to see Dean staring at him.

"So, Sam tells me you're a sophomore." Castiel nods. "What are you going for? Diploma wise I mean." He smirked again.

"Well, I really want to be an English teacher. Reading is my favorite hobby and doing that for a living would seem nice. Teaching others to appreciate literature as much as I do. Or something like that. I still have a year to make my final decision."

Dean listens intently, nodding in all the right places.

"That's cool man, I'm sure you would be a great teacher."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. You just seem like that type. I could see you in a nice little sweater vest and glasses, getting excited about Shakespeare and all that."

"Well, I don't get 'excited' I just appreciate a good work of literature."

"It was a joke Cas, I'm sure you would look good in anything." Dean lowered his eyes to the table as Castiel eyed him suspiciously. Did he hear that right? Was Dean flirting? Dean didn't look like he would be into guys, Castiel thought. He looked like a typical run of the mill, all American straight man. Castiel shook his head. He wanted to think he had a chance with Dean.

"I…" He bit his lip, unable to form a reply. The coffee machine beeped, and Castiel quickly turned to pour a large cup. He tried his hardest to avoid eye contact, unsure of how to respond. He really wanted to though.

"Um, here's your coffee." He handed the cup to Dean, and pulled away, rubbeing his right hand over his left arm. It had been a gesture he was used to doing when he was nervous.

Dean nodded, taking the coffee and laying down a five dollar bill.

"See you around, Cas." He smiled gently before turning and walking out the door. Castiel let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Dude, you got it bad." Charlie smirked at him from behind her comic book. Castiel shook his head.

"I don't know what to do about him. I swear he's straight, but was it just me or was he actually trying to flirt."

"Sounded like flirting to me. What if he doesn't know he likes guys?"

"Hmm, falling for a straight guy is never a good idea."

"You're so cute _Cas."_

"Don't call me that."

Charlie pouted. "You're no fun."

Castiel shrugged and reached over to grab the money on the counter. It was twice as much as he was owed. He smiled. Maybe complicated would be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

"Cassie, baby! How've you been?!" Castiel groaned as he answered his phone and his irritatingly loud brother was on the other end.

"Gabriel, why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?"

"Accompanying our dear mother to church of course. Why, shouldn't you be up for church?" Gabriel snickered.

"You know full well I do not attend church."

"I know Cassie, just giving you shit. I actually was calling to warn you."

"Unless it's to warn me about the apocalypse or the rapture, I'm sure it could've waited a few more hours."

"I'm being serious Castiel. Mother has met an interesting, young woman a few months ago. I think she is trying to set her up with you."

"What? Why?"

"Why? Really Cassie, do you not know our mom? Luckily for me, I'm a happily married man, otherwise she would be doing the same thing."

"Happily married? Don't you and Meg have an open relationship?"

"Yes! Precisely why we work so well. Any who, enough about my fabulous sex life, how's yours?"

"Nonexistent."

"And here I was thinking college would get you out more."

"I do go out, Gabriel, but meaningless sex is just that; meaningless."

"No one you fancy to be your little boy toy?" Castiel groaned again, covering his eyes with his hand. The sun was just starting to come up and he still had a few hours till work.

"Gabriel, I'm not speaking to you about this."

"Oh, I see, so you do have someone on your mind. Tell me, is he _dreamy."_

"You're a dick."

"Maybe so. Any who, we'll discuss this another day. I just wanted to warn you about what Moms been up to."

"Duly noted, thank you."

"Later, Cassie."

Castiel hung up the phone and rolled over onto his stomach. He loved his brother, but he could be such a headache most of the time. But his mother was much worse.

Gabriel and Meg, Gabe's wife, are the only two people in his family that know Castiel is gay. If his highly religious mother found out, all hell might break loose. He knew he would eventually have to tell her, but it wasn't something he was ready to deal with yet. Maybe after college is over, and he has a nice job and another 10 or 15 years passes.

Maybe then.

As he lie in bed, beginning to nod off once more, his phone rang again. He looked at the contact photo this time before answering it. It was Sam.

"Hey Castiel. Good morning, sorry if I am waking you."

"No, it's alright. My terrible brother woke me up a while ago."

"Oh, well, cool? Any who, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me study today? I have an assignment due on Tuesday and a test on Friday. I figured since you took this class last semester with the same teacher, you could give me some pointers on what they're looking for?"

"Who's the teacher?"

"Henricksen."

"Hmm, yeah. He can be a hard ass."

"Yeah so, I was hoping you could help out."

"Well, I'm supposed to work today, but if you want to come to the shop, I'm sure we won't be busy and I could help you."

"Yeah, man, that would be great. See you in a few hours."

"OK."

Castiel turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. There was really no point in trying to sleep now. He would have to get up soon anyway, and besides, there was that hopeful little flutter in his chest that was he would see Dean again today. After all, Dean does seem to drive Sam everywhere.

When he finally reasoned with himself to get up and dressed, he spent extra time deciding on what to wear. Castiel never much cared about what he wore, but the thought that he might see Dean made him want to look exceptionally good today. Fixing his hair was out of the question, he was plagued with constant bed head, but perhaps he could distract Dean from that.

He settled on a pair of tight jeans that he had been told on more than one occasion made his ass look great. He then pulled on a light blue button up shirt, undoing the top two buttons. He stared at himself in the mirror wondering if there was anything else he could do with himself. He reached into one of his drawers and pulled out some black eyeliner that was there from the previous Halloween. He applied it gently, making sure not to smudge or put too much. When he was done he looked at himself again.

"This is so stupid." He said aloud. His eyes made him look like he was screaming 'fuck me Winchester'. Was that was he was going for?

He wasn't sure anymore.

After 5 minutes of debating whether to take it off or not, he glanced at the clock. It was time for him to start heading out. He usually liked to walk to work, enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze this early in the day. If he left now he would still make it to the shop on foot.

He pulled his black converse on and stepped outside, glancing at his roommates sleeping form before locking his dorm. His roommate, a big guy named Benny, was a friendly enough person. He mostly kept to himself and Castiel appreciated it. He didn't know much about him, but he did know that whenever Benny left a tie on the doorknob, Castiel didn't dare enter, lest he be blinded by the sight of Benny and his date for the evening. He had found this out the hard way the first time it happened.

"Sorry about that, Castiel. I thought it was a universal sign for do not enter." He had apologized with that thick southern accent of his. Castiel, who had been red in the face the remainder of the night, hastingly apologized and left the room.

Castiel stepped outside and saw it was a beautiful morning. He took a deep breath, and began his short walk to the coffee shop.

He arrived 10 minutes before opening and unlocked the door. Castiel began his morning preparations of cleaning the machines and restocking what was needed. The door chimed, and Castiel looked up as Charlie entered.

"Morning, Castiel, up bright and early as usual." She smiled, walking around the counter to drop her bag underneath it. "Oh my god, someone dolled themselves up today!"

Castiel felt his face redden.

"I just...well…"

"Oh, don't try to explain. You're hoping to see that big hunk of meat from yesterday again right?" Castiel nodded, looking down to the floor.

"I just grabbed the eye liner and started putting it on. I wasn't thinking. It's too much isn't it?"

"No way, Castiel. You look great. It I was into guys at all, I would definitely be trying to hit that." She blew him a kiss and Castiel laughed.

The first hour went by slowly for Castiel. There had only been a few customers so far, and Castiel felt himself staring at the clock for most of the time he was there. He didn't know what time Sam would be there, but if it wasn't soon, Castiel thought he might die of anticipation.

Soon enough though, the door opened and he heard his name being called.

"Castiel, hey, thank for helping me out with this today." Sam smiled his usual bright smile.

Castiel nodded, throwing the rag he was using to wipe down the counter into the small bucket on the floor. He looked around disappointingly as Sam entered alone. He walked over to a large table where Sam had begun setting his bag and laptop down on. He tried not to act to disappointed as they began their study session.

Sam didn't comment on Castiels appearance, which was a good thing to Castiel. Maybe it meant it wasn't so obvious he was dressing up. Or attempting too.

A few hours had passed and when Sam thought they were done for the day, he began packing up.

"I'm sure I'll be able to pass this test no problem now. Thanks buddy."

"Anytime Sam."

"So when's your shift over? I was thinking about getting a burger, if you wanted to come. I'm going to call my brother to come get me." Castiel tried to ignore his heartbeat which sped up at the mention of his brother.

Castiel looked up at Charlie, who grinned at him.

"Go ahead, I can handle the shop on my own." Castiel turned back to Sam.

"I guess that means I can go."

"Great." He pulled out his phone and dialed a number Castiel assumed was his brother. He wondered if he would ever have the honor of having his number in his phone.

"Dean, hey. Yeah, all done. Yeah, Castiel is going to come with us to lunch. Ok, see you soon." He hung up the phone. "It might be a few minutes, he sounded like he was underneath the hood of his car."

However it wasn't long, maybe 15 minutes had passed, when Dean came walking thru the door. Castiel tried to look as inconspicuous as he could while checking him out. His hair looked a little damp, but his skin was clean and dirt free, so he probably had jumped into the shower right after Sam called.

"Dude, that was fast." Sam joked, nudging his brother with his elbow.

"Yeah well," Dean looked from Sam to Castiel, and, was it Castiels imagination or was he being looked over? "I really wanted to get that burger."

Castiel bit his lip, imagining being on the receiving end of Deans mouth.

The two college students followed Dean out to the black car that sat in front of the shop.

"This is my baby, Cas, so please be careful with her." Dean smirked at him as he climbed into the car.

"I'll do my best." Castiel said, climbing into the back seat.

The drive was short, and they soon arrived at a place called "The Roadhouse" where Dean swears they have the best burgers in town. Castiel followed the brothers inside.

"Well if it isn't my two favorite boys. And they brought a friend. Take a seat."

"Thanks Ellen." Dean said, grabbing a chair and pulling it out for himself. Sam and Castiel took the other two chairs and Ellen brought them some menus.

Castiel attempted to read the menu, but he kept feeling like he was being watched. He glanced over the top of it and saw Dean looking at him in the eye.

Dean grinned.

His eyes moved over Castiels face and down to where his shirt was unbuttoned. Castiel suddenly felt very exposed, but it excited him a little.

The silence was broken by Sam saying he was going to the bathroom and to order him a burger when Ellen came back.

Now it was just the two of them.

Castiel felt nervous and excited all at once.

"So, Cas, you look a little to dressed up for a Sunday morning shift at the coffee shop." Dean pointed out, tilting his head sideways.

"Just something I threw together." Castiel answered back. _Was it too much_, he asked himself.

"It looks good." Dean whispered, leaning in a little closer. Castiels mouth began to water as Dean looked at him with an almost hungry expression. They stared at each other for a minute, in silence, before Ellen made her appearance.

"So, what'll it be for you boys?"


	3. Chapter 3

Ellen tapped her fingers on the table, waiting for the boys to answer.

Dean coughed and leaned back in his chair, and Castiels' expression dropped to a face of disappointment.

"Sammy and I will have the bacon burgers, and Cas here…" He looked over to Castiel, who realized he hadn't chosen what he would be ordering.

"I, uh, I will have the same."

"Alrighty boys, comin' right up. Dean, you want a beer?"

"Yeah Ellen, that would be great."

Ellen turned her head to Castiel, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, uh, no I'm ok."

"Come on, Cas, it's on me."

"Dean, this boy don't look 21." Ellen crossed her arms and tapped her fingers on her elbow.

"Well, he's older than Sammy?" It came out as more of a pleading question than a rebuttal. Ellen shook her head and walked away, mumbling about 'those boys' and 'always trouble'. Dean grinned at Castiel.

"You're in." He laughed. Castiel smiled shyly, unsure of what had just entirely happened. They sat in a comfortable silence, Castiel taking in the surroundings. 'The Roadhouse' from the outside looked like a rundown biker bar, but the inside was anything but. It had an almost homey feel to it, and Castiel could see why the Winchesters liked to come here.

Sam came back a few minutes later, phone in hand and blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Hey guys, sorry to have to do this but I just got a call from Jess. She on her way to come pick me up."

"Why, Sammy, you're ditching us for a date?"

Sam looked down at the floor and scratched the back of his head. "Kinda, yeah. Is that ok with you, Castiel?"

"Yes, of course. Go ahead."

"Dean, you mind taking Castiel home?"

A smile spread across Deans' face.

"Yeah, of course, why not. But we're gonna eat first, right Cas?" Castiel nodded, turning to Dean. They shared a look and Sam coughed uncomfortably.

"Right, well, I'm gonna wait outside, she'll be here in a few minutes. Oh wait, hey Ellen, can you cancel my burger?"

"Boy, don't be yelling in my place of business! Get on out if you aren't gonna be eating!" Sam smiled and backed away towards the door.

"See you guys later." He said, walking out.

Castiel almost began to panic once he realized he was going to be alone with Dean. It wasn't a date like he was hoping for, but it was definitely something right?

"Earth to Cas, where'd you go?" Castiel came back to reality as fingers were being snapped in his face. Dean cocked his head curiously. "You do that often?"

"Uh, no, not so much." Castiel whispered. Dean laughed.

"It's alright. So, I guess it's just you and me for a while. So, are you originally from Kansas?"

"No, my family came from New England. We moved up here a few years ago."

"Oh. How do you like it?"

"It's alright I suppose. I really do want to travel though, when I'm done with school."

"That's cool, man. I'm glad Sammy's going to school, gonna make a life for himself. Get out of this Podunk little state. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, but Sammy, Sammy's gonna do something big with his life, you know."

Their conversation was momentarily interrupted by Ellen, who set a couple of beers on the table, winking at Castiel, and walking back to her post. Castiel watched her leave before turning back to Dean. He bit his lip, uncertain about his next question.

"You...never attended college yourself, Dean?"

Dean took a long pull of his beer, bringing it down and staring intently at the paper around it. He looked up and scoffed.

"Me? Nah. Dropped out of high school when I was 16. Got my GED a few years later."

"Oh, I see."

"Don't give me that pity look, Cas."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Dean. There's no shame in a GED."

Dean looked up from the table and into Castiels eyes.

"Thanks, Cas."

Castiel shrugged.

Ellen delivered their food and they began to eat in silence. Castiel watched Dean scarf down his food like a man who hadn't eaten in a week. Dean caught him staring and gave him a wide smile. Castiel laughed.

"You sure do like the burgers here."

"Oh yeah, Ellen makes the best." Dean replied, wiping his mouth with a napkin, though it did little for the mess. "So, Cas, you got any siblings?"

Castiel nodded. "Three older brothers. Wonderful, all of them."

"…Was that sarcasm?"

"Most definitely. They drive me crazy."

"That must be tough. Being the baby in the family."

"I am not a baby, Dean. Although, my oldest brothers, Michael and Luke, are well into their 30's and have already made something of themselves. They're both lawyers in New York, though Luke is a defense attorney and Michael works for the DA. I find it quite amusing when they have to be in the court room together. It's like heaven versus hell in there."

Dean laughed, taking another swig from his bottle. "And your third brother?"

"Oh. Gabriel, he lives a much quieter life. Owns a few small business, spends his time doing whatever he wants really."

"Sounds like he's living the dream."

"Well, his dream. Mother disapproves, but he's the only son who still lives in the same vicinity as her, and she dotes on him. Bugs him about grandchildren and whatnot."

"What about you, Cas?"

"What about me, Dean?"

"Well, after you graduate and become a teacher or whatever. What are your plans? You said you wanna travel? Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere really. I want to see Rome, and Paris, Italy, Costa Rica. It'll be costly, but worth it, I'm sure."

"And after that?"

"I'm…not sure what you mean?"

"Well, you see a little house with a white picket fence and some kids running around?"

Castiel snorted.

"Highly doubtful."

"Whys that?"

Castiel looked away from Dean. He wasn't sure how to reply. He wanted to believe that Dean already knew the answer, but he couldn't be too sure. He didn't want to scare him away. Dean seems like a nice enough guy. Even if he wasn't gay, couldn't they still be friends?

"Cas?"

"I…I should probably get going soon, Dean. I have some homework to catch up on." Dean nodded, his smile replaced by a frown.

"I didn't upset you did I, Cas?"

"No, Dean, of course not. I just…really should be going." Castiel stood and began making his way to the door, but stopped suddenly, realizing he didn't know where he was and that Dean was his ride. He turned back to see Dean leaving some money on the table and hurrying after him.

"Do you mind dropping me off at my dorm?"

"No problem, Cas."

Castiel followed Dean out the door and to the spot where the black beast was parked.

"I didn't mention this before, Dean, but this really is a beautiful car." Dean beamed at this and puffed out his chest slightly.

"She's a beauty aint she? Rebuilt her myself. Used to be my dad's till he totaled it. Was sitting in the junkyard out back at Bobbys for a few years before I got my hands on it."

"Bobbys?"

"Oh yeah, where I work. Bobbys Auto Garage. He's an old family friend. Hired me after I dropped out. He's actually the one who pushed me to get my GED."

"He sounds like a very nice person."

Dean laughed.

"Bobby? Nice? Bobby's as hard assed as they come, but he did care about us a lot. Took us in after…" He paused, looking away. "…Anyway, so yeah, put this baby back together myself and she's my pride and joy. The Impala. It's what everyone else calls her. I call her Baby."

Castiel pretended not to notice the sudden change in conversation.

Took them in?

What did that mean?

Maybe he could ask Sam, but he didn't want to upset the Winchester brothers by prying into their life uninvited.

The two men got inside the car and Castiel adjusted his seat belt. Dean turned to look at Cas.

"Now, I know you probably don't have the same taste in music as I do, however, my rule is 'driver picks the music, and shotgun shuts his cakehole', capisce?"

"Of course, Dean."

Dean started the engine and turned on the radio, though, it wasn't as loud as it had been all the previous times Castiel had heard it.

"You like ACDC?" Castiel shrugged.

"I've never really listened to them."

"What about Zepplin?" Cas shook his head. "Gun' n Roses? Kansas? You're killing me, Cas."

"My mother is a very religious woman. We weren't allowed to listen to anything she didn't approve of."

"That blows man. Don't worry though, I'll make sure you're updated on all the good stuff."

"Aren't most of them from the 80's, Dean?"

"So what? They're classics. Better than that crap they play on the radio and in clubs."

"Some of it's not so bad."

"We obviously have different definitions of 'bad'."

Castiel chuckled. "Ok, you've sold me. Teach me your ways, master." He bit his lip as he said it, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Dean glanced at him, his smirk showing the dimples in his cheeks in the cutest way Castiel could imagine.

They spent the drive listening to different bands, and Dean spoke of each with enthusiasm, stopping only to sing his favorite parts. Castiel watched with interest as Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and rocked along with the beats. He tried not to stare, but he knew he had been caught a few times by Dean. Dean didn't mention it though, just continued as if nothing had happened.

"This is me," Castiel said as they pulled up to the dorm, silently wishing the drive would've lasted longer. Why did he have to be so stupid and try to run out of the Roadhouse?

"Alright, man. Guess I'll catch you later?" Castiel nodded, shutting the door to the Impala. He lingered for a moment, unsure of what to do.

"Yes, thanks for the ride. And the meal. See you later, Dean."

"Bye Cas."

When Castiel was safe inside his dorm, he didn't know whether to cry or squeal with joy. He liked Dean. Really liked him. He was funny, and interesting, and he really wanted to get to know him better.

He lied face down on his bed and relived the day from beginning to end. At least, all the parts with Dean. He had to know him. He needed to.

Maybe, just maybe, Dean wanted to know him too.

And a few days later, when a cd showed up in his mailbox, full of different types of music that Castiel had never listened to before, he tried his best not to swoon like a love sick school girl in the hallway.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel sat at his desk next to the window, typing away on his computer. He was just polishing off his essay when his stomach started rumbling. He looked at the clock and noticed it was already 5pm, and he hadn't eaten anything since lunch. He stood and stretched, back cracking from typing for hours to get his work done.

It had been a few days since he last saw Dean, who would now show up every so often at the coffee shop, buying the same thing each time, and staying for a bit to chat with Castiel about his studies, about Sam's' new girlfriend, who Castiel really liked, and they even talked about the weather.

The freaking weather.

Castiel wasn't quite sure what to do from here. Things were going smoothly, but he wasn't sure if Dean understood he liked him. Now, he couldn't just come out and say it; that would be suicide for Castiel. But they hadn't yet been put into a position for Castiel to truly, truly tell if Dean did indeed really like him too.

He hung his shoulders as he headed over to the mini fridge he had bought for his dorm. He opened it up and raised an eyebrow.

It was nearly empty.

Had it really been that long since he last went grocery shopping? He tried to think about the last time he had gone. He couldn't even imagine it.

So Castiel sighed and put on his coat, grabbing his keys as he headed out. The grocery store was a little farther than work, and he didn't feel like walking the long distance back with a few bags of groceries. So, he decided he would drive; something he rarely did.

He headed over to the dormitory parking where his rusty piece of crap sat. It was starting to get dusty from the long amount of time it had been sitting there. He had bought it because it was cheap, and he knew he would rarely use it. But when he tried to start it, it sputtered.

"Come on," Castiel groaned. After a few tried, the car finally started and he drove down to the supermarket.

It didn't take him long to stock up on snacks and microwave food. He grabbed a few other items; sugar and tea, and some ramen noodle cups for on the go. He knew he wasn't exactly 'eating healthy' but he rarely ate at home anyway. Cafeteria food was good for the most part.

As he walked back to the car with his groceries and put the key in the ignition, he was relieved to see that it started almost immediately. However, as he was about to turn out of the store, the car abruptly shut off.

"What the…" Castiel attempted to turn the car on again, but nothing changed. He was stuck in the parking lot, at the exit, no less, and with frozen items in the passenger seat.

He sat in the driver's seat, frozen, unsure of what to do. He knew nothing about cars. He didn't know how to fix this, and he definitely wasn't strong enough to push the car to the side where people could slip by.

The only thing that broke him from his trance was a honk from the car behind him. He rolled down the window and waved his arm for them to pass. The driver gave him a very unsettling look as he went around and took off.

Castiel thought as quickly as he could. Who does he know who could help?

The only person he could think of was the Winchesters. Surely Dean, a mechanic, would know what to do, right?

He fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Sam.

"Hello Sam, its Castiel."

"Yeah, dude, what's up?"

"I…I hate to ask this, but I'm having a bit of car trouble. I'm stranded."

"Oh, no shit? Let me get Dean." There was some rustling in the background and Castiel listened intently. He could heard faint voices, and some more rustling.

"Cas?"

Castiel tried to ignore the flutter in his heart as he heard Deans' gruff voice on the phone.

"Hello, Dean. I'm in a bit of a bind." He stuck his hand out the window as another honk came.

"Where are you? I'll bring the tow truck."

"Thank you Dean, I'm sorry to have disrupted your evening with this."

"Hey man, don't worry about it."

Castiel gave Dean his location and was told to sit tight, that he would be there soon.

It was the longest 15 minutes of his life and Castiel was red in the face by the time Dean showed up in with the tow. Castiel got out of his car and waited by the door.

"Cas? What's wrong?"

"I've been honked at and flipped off more times in the past 20 minutes than I have my entire life. I'm so embarrassed right now." He answered honestly.

"Don't worry about those douchebags. Let's see what the problem is." He walked over to the hood and opened it, and after a few minutes he was shaking his head. "This…this is definitely a job. Nothing I can't do, just something I can't do here. Let's get it over to the garage."

Castiel watched as Dean maneuvered the tow truck, behind the car and tied it up. Cars were still honking, but Castiel found he didn't mind as much as long as Dean was there with him. He watched his muscles ripple through and around the black muscle shirt he was wearing.

Wait, he was wearing a button up when he arrived, wasn't he?

Oh, thought Castiel, he must've taken it off to work, doesn't want to get it dirty.

He stood, mesmerized by Deans movements. He knew it was wrong to check out the guys' ass as he was literally saving Castiels, but it just looked so perfect in those tight jeans. Everything about Dean was perfect.

Castiel was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the car being lifted and secured until Dean turned to smile at him.

Under the light of the lowering sun, Deans' freckles were more profound, sprinkling over his nose and cheeks in the most adorable way. And those eyes…

"Alright, Cas, hop in and let's go."

Castiel adjusted the bags he was carrying and climbed into the passenger's seat of the truck. Their ride was short and silent, and soon they found themselves pulling into a large scrap yard. When Dean parked and turned the engine off, he turned to Castiel.

"I'll go ahead and get this thing down, if you wanna head inside. Sam's in there. You can put your groceries in the fridge if you need to."

Castiel nodded. "I really do appreciate this."

"No problem, Cas." He smiled in that charming way that made Castiel blush.

He was a little disappointed to be leaving Deans company, but he knew he needed to get his things to a fridge.

The house was a little worn down, but he could tell it was once very beautiful. He walked up the steps to the front door and walked thru.

The first thing he noticed was the book cases. They were everywhere, stacked with books. The living room was dark, but he could make out a TV in the corner and a few couches. It seemed very homey and lived in, despite being mostly bare. Save for the books littering almost every surface.

Castiel headed towards the only light that he could see was on, and came upon the kitchen. Sam smiled at him from the stove.

"Hey Cas, you hungry? I'm just finishing up dinner."

"Oh, no, I've intruded enough Sam. I'll just wait and see about my car."

"Aww, come on, the more the merrier. It's just me and Dean right now, Bobby is staying over at Ellen's tonight."

"Bobby lives here too?"

"Well, actually, it's his house. He invited us to stay here a few years back."

Castiel remembered his conversation with Dean about Bobby.

"I see, so he took you in?"

"Yeah…it's uh, long story. Anyway, make yourself at home."

Castiel stepped thru the kitchen and headed towards the fridge. He set the bags inside, except for the bag containing the sugar, which he left on the counter.

"Hope this is ok. If my food goes bad it will really make this trip completely worthless." Not completely, he told himself.

"Sure," Sam smiled and continue his stirring. Castiel sat at the small kitchen table and they talked about school. Sam's presentation in class had gone well, thanks to Castiels tutoring.

"Really man, I swear that teacher is out to get me. He didn't even smile after I presented to the class. And he gave me a B! He probably would've given me a lower grade if he could without me questioning him." Castiel smiled as Sam laughed.

After a few more minutes, Sam turned the stove off and began setting the table. He set a plate in front of Castiel, and before Castiel could insist he didn't want to eat, Sam spoke first.

"Come on Cas, no one here is judging you. We all have our bad days. You're a good friend, and we would appreciate you having dinner with us." Castiel nodded at this, knowing he had no other choice. It did make him feel good, however, to know he was wanted by people like Sam. And perhaps even Dean.

Almost as if he had heard his thoughts, Dean came thru the kitchen door, wiping his hands on a rag.

"Dinner smells great Sammy." He said, tossing the rag in the trash and washing his hands in the sink. He dried them on a kitchen towel and turned to Castiel.

"Looks like it's actually gonna take me a few days to get that car running right, Cas. I'll take you home after dinner and let you know when it'll be ready for pick up."

"I do appreciate this Dean, do you have any idea how much it will cost?" Dean shrugged.

"Not sure yet, but don't worry, I won't try to scam you like other mechanics. I'm not about taking money I haven't earned. Besides, you're a friend, and friends get a discount." He winked, sitting down at the table, across from Castiel.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know." He simply said, tilting his head sideways. Castiel found himself doing the same as the stared at each other.

Sam brought over a pot of spaghetti and a bowl of salad. He handed Dean a beer and took one for himself.

"Cas? What would you like to drink?"

"Oh, whatever is fine. Water?"

"No, that won't do Cas, have a beer." Dean handed him his and grabbed Sammy's from his hand.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Castiel smiled down at his plate at their exchange. He wondered what it would've been like if he and all his brothers got along.

A timer went off and Sam jumped from where he had just sat down.

"Almost forgot." He ran to the stove and carefully pulled out a large tray, which had layers of toasted, cheesy bread on them.

"Best part." Dean said, grinning at the tray.

Castiel waited till Dean and Sam had served themselves before helping himself to small portions. He sipped his beer and ate his food in silence as he listened to the brothers' talk.

"-And she had the nerve to try and flirt her way out of paying for the tire. Sex doesn't pay the bills, you know."

Sam nodded, eating another bite of his salad.

"You know you were tempted though right?"

Dean shook his head.

"Nah, she wasn't my type."

"Since when do you have a type Dean?"

"I can have a type."

"Oh, and what's your type."

"Definitely wasn't her. Too blonde."

"Too…blonde? Dean, I thought you loved blondes."

"Yeah well, things change. Maybe I'm not into blondes as much anymore. Especially ones who think the world revolves around them."

"And so I revert to my previous question, Dean, what IS your type."

"Well…" He chewed his food as he thought for a few moments. "Smart. Quiet." He glanced over at Cas with a twinkle in his eye. "Brunette."

Castiel felt his breath hitch as he listened. Was he referring to him?

Sam, who had been paying attention to his food, nodded. "I guess I understand that. But that doesn't mean blondes are dumb. Jess is blonde and she is intelligent."

"Great for both of you. Maybe she'll wise up one day and leave your dumb ass." Dean laughed heavily. This earned him a smack from his brother. Castiel looked down at his plate, blushing profusely as he wondered the possibility of Dean liking him back.

Even though Castiel was hungry, he couldn't bring himself to eat much more than the small amount he had put on his plate. He was too busy thinking, wondering, and trying to figure out how to make Dean admit his feelings, whatever they may be.

Soon enough, dinner was finished. Castiel wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. Dean cleared the table, putting everything in the sink.

"Sammy, don't worry about the dishes, I'll do them after I drop Cas off." Sam nodded from the doorway, walking away as he stared at his phone, typing. "Ready Cas?"

Castiel nodded, getting up and pushing his chair in. He grabbed his grocery bags from the fridge and counter, and they walked out the kitchen door together to the Impala. They sat inside and began their journey.

Fearing another silent drive, Castiel cleared his throat.

"So…" He said. "Bobby, your uh, boss? He's staying over at Ellen's? The woman who own the Roadhouse?"

"Oh, yeah. Bobby and Ellen have had a thing for each other for years. It finally took me and Sammy pushing them together to get them to admit their feelings for each other."

"I see."

"Yeah, sometimes some people just need a little push."

"Understandable. So you live with Bobby?"

"Yeah…" Dean scratched the back of his head with his hand. "It's uh…complicated. Well, not really, but…"

"Its ok Dean, you don't have to tell me."

"But that's just it, Cas. I want to tell you." Dean took a deep breath. "I don't know why, I haven't wanted to talk about it since, well, ever."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. It's stupid. Just stupid family drama that doesn't even really matter a whole lot anymore." Dean sighed and Castiel found himself leaning closer. He placed a hand gently on Dean's shoulder.

"I won't judge you Dean, I'm the last person to judge anyone based on their 'family drama'." Dean looked over to him, smiling gently.

"Thanks, Cas. Another day though, maybe. Besides, looks like we're here." Castiel looked out the window at the dorm.

They sat together in silence for a minute, neither of them moving. Finally Castiel looked up. He placed his hand again on Dean's shoulder.

"I appreciate you rescuing me today, Dean, and just so you know, if you ever want to, you know, talk about anything, I'm always here for…you." Dean shifted closer, looking into Castiels eyes as he spoke. Castiel noticed that their face were but a few inches away now, it would be so easy to just lean in…

"Well…" Dean bit his lip. "I guess you got a lot of work to finish up, right?"

Castiel nodded but didn't pull back. He couldn't get over being so close yet so far away.

Just as Castiel was about to take the leap and just kiss him already, Deans phone began to beep.

"Oh, it's uh, Sam." He said, looking down. Castiel nodded, smiling weakly.

"I guess I should be going. Again, thanks." Castiel climbed out of the car and waved goodbye, walking to his dorm. He was mentally kicking himself for losing his nerve.

"I can't believe you. You were so close." He said aloud, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "Next time. Next time just do it. Just kiss him!"

He walked into his empty dorm room and set about putting his groceries away. He took off his shirt and sat down at his computer, staring at the screen, unsure of what to do with himself. His brain felt like mush. After a few minutes, he decided to just lay his head down on the desk.

He was startled out of his stupor by a knock on the door. Castiel raised his eyebrow in question; he never had surprise visitors.

Must be for Benny, he thought.

He walked over to the door and opened it slowly, hiding his bare chest behind the door. He held back a surprised gasp as he looked at Dean standing in the hallway.

"Sugar." Was all Dean said. Castiel straightened his posture and came out from behind the door.

"Pardon?" He said.

"Sugar…you forgot…the sugar…" He said, looking at Castiels torso. He held out the bag containing his sugar.

"Oh…of course…" Castiel took the bag. Dean didn't move though. He stood there, looking a little lost.

"Dean, are you alright?"

"Yeah, Cas, yeah I am." He whispered. Castiel watched as Dean looked at him up and down, tracing his curves with his eyes. Castiel took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Dean…" he whispered. He didn't get to finish what he was going to say. Dean stepped forward, gently placing his hands on Castiels face and pulling him forward. When their lips met, Castiel couldn't hold back his surprised gasp this time.

Dean's lips were soft and full, and Castiel moaned as he dropped the bag onto the floor and wrapped his arms around Deans back. Dean pushed him against the door and grabbed Castiel by the waist. Castiels brain was going at 100 miles an hour.

I can't believe this is happening!

I'm kissing him!

I must be dreaming, right?

But the mouth currently assaulting his felt to real to be a dream.

He parted his lips and allowed Deans tongue to glide in, exploring the new cavern.

"Cas…" He whispered, pulling back and resting their foreheads together. Castiel smiled. "I've been waiting…so long to finally do that…"

"I as well, Dean…I…wasn't sure how you would respond…"

"Obviously, quite well." He chuckled, placing another quick kiss on his lips. Dean ran one hand through Castiels messy hair. He was about to lean in for another kiss, when a large man came walking by.

It was Benny.

"Dude!" He exclaimed. "Tie? Doorknob? Remember?" Castiel and Dean blushed and parted so Benny could come thru.

"Well, I guess that's my cue." Dean whispered. He entwined their fingers and kissed Castiel again. "I'll get your number from Sam and maybe text you later?"

Castiel nodded. "Text. Call. Whenever." He found it difficult to string a coherent sentence together. Dean smiled and said goodbye and Castiel closed the door. He smiled as he leaned on the door, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Had a good night then?" Benny teased. Castiel blushed and climbed into his bed, turning off his lamp. He lied there and smiled to himself, believing that there was a chance he could finally have what he wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

The text from Dean came the following morning as Castiel was getting ready for his class. He was just putting the final books into his bag when his phone began buzzing.

_**Mornin' Cas. Its Dean.**_

Castiel smiled. He could feel heart beating faster as he savored that first message.

_Good morning, Dean._

_**Im about to drop off Sammy, thought maybe I could see u for a few**_

_I'm about to head out to the campus, perhaps I'll see you._

_**Yeahh cool but can u like not mention this to Sammy yet? I wanna tell him later on**_

Castiel frowned, but he understood where Dean was coming from. He wasn't exactly 'out' with his family either.

_Of course, Dean._

_**Awesome. B there in a few.**_

He smiled and stuffed his phone back into his pocket, grabbing his stuff and walking quicker than usual to the campus. When he got to the campus parking lot, he tried not to make it obvious that he was waiting for anything, but he wasn't sure what exactly to do with himself. He pulled out his phone and checked his email and his Facebook, keeping himself occupied.

It was only a minute or two till he heard the familiar roar of Deans' Impala. He looked up and slowly began walking along the sidewalk, purposely taking his time. Dean pulled up next to him.

"Hey, Cas." He smiled wide. Castiel tried not to blush as he composed himself to act as normally as possible.

"Dean." He nodded, biting his lip. Sam hopped out of the passenger's side door and walked over to Castiel.

"Hey man, wanna head to class with me?"

"Of course, Sam."

"See ya Dean!" Sam turned to wave at his brother, who waved back. With Sam preoccupied with his walk, Castiel turned slightly to look back at Dean. He noticed Dean, head handing out the window, eyeing his turned back. Their eyes met and Dean's expression turned into a goofy grin. He waved lazily and Castiel grinned and turned, speeding up a little to catch up with Sam.

As they parted in the hallway to go to their respective classes, Castiels phone began to buzz and he checked it once he sat in his usual spot.

_**Hate to see u go but luv to watch u leave**_

_Oh, smooth._

_**I kno right**_

They continued to trade messages throughout the day, with large gaps in between for when they got busy.

He learned that Deans' birthday was January 24th. He learned his favorite color was blue. He learned (not really) that Dean really, really loved bacon cheeseburgers.

_Too many and your arteries will clog, Dean_

_**Hey man, at least I'll go down happy**_

Castiel had shaken his head at that. Dean was a bit of a distraction from his classes. He was asked by a professor to quiet down because he had laughed a little too loud.

_**I know all the Clint Eastwood movies, even the one with the monkey**_

For once, Castiel was actually happy for classes to be over. He met Sam at the usual spot, though this time he was buried in his phone rather than a book as per usual.

"Hey, Cas, what's up?"

"Oh, Sam. Hey." Castiel replied, looking up quickly.

"What, uh, what are you doing?"

"Oh? Nothing. Just ready to go home."

"Yeah, me too. Dean should be here in a few."

"Ok, I'll walk you out." He hopped up from the bench.

Sam raised a questioning eyebrow at Castiels enthusiasm.

When they arrived at the parking lot, Sam could hear Castiels phone buzzing, and a minute later, Castiel would have a smile three miles wide on his face. Sam shook his head, smiling gently. He was happy Castiel found someone to talk to that made him that happy. He wondered who she was.

The Impala was already parked up front, and Dean, who was usually drawing attention to himself with his loud music, or posing on the hood of his car, was just sitting in the front seat, music turned to a reasonable volume, and he was glancing at his cell every few seconds.

Sam tilted his head. His brother was acting strange.

Actually, he had been acting stranger and stranger over the past few weeks. Nothing bad, just, _different_.

Castiel looked up and saw Dean waiting in his car.

"Well, Cas, it's been a long day, so I guess I'll be heading out."

"Yes, of course. Let me just say hello to your brother."

"Oh…ok, yeah." Castiel turned back to the Impala and his pace suddenly slowed. He walked behind Sam and when they arrived next to the car, he went around to the driver's side.

"Dean…" Dean looked up and grinned.

"Hey, Cas, how was class?"

"It was…interesting today. But a good day none the less."

"That's…good to hear." Dean smiled brighter and Sam could've swore that he was blushing.

No, that's not right.

Dean doesn't blush.

"Any word on my car?" Castiel asked. Dean shook his head.

"I'm still working on it. I get the feeling it may need a completely new engine. The more I dig, the more I'm finding wrong. You might be better off just scrapping it, but I'll have more time to deal with it on my day off. Business is booming right now, you know…"

"Yes, of course. Not a problem. I can take the bus if I need to go to the store."

"What? The bus? No way, I can make sure you get everything you need, don't worry."

"Oh, Dean, I don't want to trouble you."

"Hey, it's my pleasure, don't worry about it."

Sam stood and watched their interaction with a very confused face.

Something was definitely going on.

"So, uh, Dean, you ready?"

"Oh, yeah Sammy, let's go." Dean turned back to Castiel.

"See you later." Castiel smiled and reluctantly began walking away, waving gently. Sam got into his seat and waited till Dean was finished watching Castiel walk away.

"You never ask about my day, dude."

"What? I know how your day went."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yes-huh."

"Dean, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing's going on with me. Now shaddup so I can heard my song." Dean turned the radio up as Highway to Hell came on. He drummed his fingers on the steering will and pulled out of the parking lot.

"You can't avoid me forever, Dean." Sam yelled over the music. Dean very maturely stuck his tongue out.

* * *

Castiel flopped down on his bed and removed his shoes, laying on his comfortable sheets. All in all, it really had been a long day, and he had lots of catching up to do. Usually during his time between classes he would study or do homework, but today he spent all his time texting Dean.

He enjoyed getting to know him, he really did.

But he just couldn't let himself fall behind.

As he opened one of his text books to lazily read in bed, his phone buzzed again.

It was Dean.

_**Hey school boy, u bz?**_

_Never too busy for you Dean._

Smooth, Castiel, he thought.

A moment later his phone rang. It was Dean.

"Hey, Cas. Are you going to be busy on Thursday?"

"No, I don't think so?"

"Did you maybe wanna grab a bite to eat or something?"

"Dean Winchester, are you asking me out on a date?"

"I guess I am." Castiels stomach did a small flip.

"I accept your offer."

"Awesome, pick you up at 6?"

"Sounds lovely."

"Ok. Ok, cool. So. Yeah. Um. I should probably let you get back to whatever it is you're doing, huh."

"Yeah, I do need to get some stuff done."

"Ok, sorry. So I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Anytime. Goodbye Dean."

"Later, Cas."

When Castiel ended the call, he remembered that he works on Thursday.

He'd have to call in.

He's never called in before.

"Hmm." Castiel thought.

He knew if he wasn't careful, his crush on Dean Winchester would rule his life.

But, a part of him didn't mind all that much.

Go figure.

* * *

As it turned out, Dean didn't occupy that much of Castiels time over the next few days.

On Tuesday, the text messages came and went, less than Mondays.

On Wednesday, the messages were nearly nonexistent.

By the time Thursday had come along, Castiel had begun to worry.

"What if he changed his mind?" He asked himself.

During the drop offs for Sam, Dean hadn't done much more than wave and smiled softly.

And both of the afternoon pick-ups, Dean had been on his phone, speaking quietly with someone. Castiel didn't want to bother him. Each time though, as Castiel walked away, he would look back and see Dean put the phone down when Sam sat down in the car.

This confused Castiel greatly.

Even hurt his feelings a little.

But why should it, he thought, I don't own him.

I don't need to be the only person in his life, talking to him.

He has his own friends. His own life.

On Thursday, he didn't even bother walking Sam to the parking lot.

He didn't wait for him in his usual spot.

Instead, he hurried to his dorm and shut the door.

His head hurt. He wanted to just sleep the rest of the day.

But he knew he was supposed to have his date with Dean tonight.

Wasn't he?

They hadn't discussed it at all the past two days. He wondered if they were still going.

He thought about texting him to ask, but thought that would be silly.

He didn't want Dean to feel obligated to come. Or, even worse, deny him altogether.

Castiel sighed. He knew he was acting childish. He knew this was one of the reasons that he could never keep a boyfriend in the past. He thought too much. Put too much into a situation that didn't need it.

He took a deep breath and sat up.

He decided that he would dress for the date, casually, something comfortable, and then sit around and do his usual stuff. Homework. Read. Anything to trick his mind into thinking it was just another normal day.

If Dean Winchester didn't want him, then that was his problem.

Castiel would not show weakness.

He dress in a white button up shirt and black jeans. He put a jacket casually over the arm of his chair in case he needed it, and took another breath.

"See? Not so hard." He smiled. He grabbed one of his books and sat down to read, letting the novel take him away to places unknown.

A knock on the door came at precisely 5:57. Not that Castiel had been watching the clock. He felt his stomach tightening and his nerves setting in as he walked to the door and opened it.

There stood Dean Winchester, smile broad on his face. Castiel grinned.

"Ready, Cas?" He asked, holding out his arm. Castiel grabbed his jacket and placed his hand in Deans, locking the door behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel twiddled his thumbs nervously in the passenger seat of the Impala, staring straight ahead as Dean drove. The music was down to a nice volume and Dean smiled happily as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He looked over at Castiel as he fidgeted in his seat.

"Why so quiet, Cas?" Dean asked, looking from the road to his date.

"Nothing, just, um, a little excited to…be out with you." He admitted, blushing. Dean grinned.

"I'm glad too. I've been having a rough few days but I was looking forward to going out tonight with you." He hesitantly put his hand on Castiels knee.

"I'm sorry to hear about your hard time. Did you…want to talk about it?"

Dean drew in a deep breath. "No, not…yet. Not tonight. Tonight is about you and me."

Castiel felt his face turn redder, if that was even at all possible.

They arrived at a restaurant, one that Castiel had never been to. It was called 'The Velvet Room' and looked more expensive than Castiel would be willing to spend on anyone. Well, anyone except Dean.

"Here we are." Dean said, turning off the engine. They exited the car and walked to the entrance.

After giving the waitress his name with the reservation, Castiel followed Dean to a table in the middle of the restaurant. Castiel sat and looked around.

The place was nice. The walls were a dark red color, with pink and blue lights littering the walls. A large chandelier hung in the center right near them, and the colorful lights gently bounced off the crystals. It wasn't too dark for it to look like a disco, it was very soothing actually. Castiel found himself very relaxed within a few short minutes.

Dean watched him with interest.

"Do you like the place?" He asked. Castiel nodded.

"It's very nice. You didn't have to do this."

"It's no big deal. I wanted to bring you somewhere nice."

The waitress came over, handing them menus, smiling brightly at the two.

"Here you are, sirs, what can I get you to drink?"

Dean ordered a beer and Castiel ordered a coke. The waitress left with a promise to return, and the boys opened their menus. Castiel kept looking over his at Dean, whose forehead was creased as he looked at the menu.

"Damn, I don't understand what the hell half this shit is." Dean cursed quietly. Castiel smiled.

"Yeah, these places tend to go a little overboard with their summaries. I know they have burgers and steaks on the third page though." Dean quickly turned his to the next page, sighing happily.

The waitress returned with their drinks and Dean ordered the largest burger they had with everything on it. Castiel decided to go with a chicken pasta.

"But, could you please make sure there are no onions in it?" The waitress smiled and took their menus, leaving the two men by themselves once more. Castiel sipped his drink as he nervously eyes the room.

What do I say to him?

How do I make him like me?

Just be yourself, idiot.

Stop fretting, he asked you out. He kissed you. He likes you already.

Castiel looked up at Dean and smiled.

Dean tilted his head. "So how is school going?" Castiel shrugged.

"It's alright. Nothing new. What about you? Work is good?"

Castiel could hear a slight buzzing noise and noticed Deans hand shoot under the table. A moment later the buzzing stopped.

"Oh, yeah, work is great…" Dean rubbed the back of his head with his hand. "Sorry, it's been so long since I've been out on a date…kinda rusty."

"That's alright, Dean. Just relax." Castiel smiled as warmly as he could.

Dean nodded, reaching for his beer. "Ok. Well, Cas, what kind of movies do you like?"

They made small talk over the next little while. The waitress soon appeared with their food, and handed them refills of their drinks. They relaxed in the conversation, enjoying the fact that they had similar interests in movies. Although there were still a few that Dean seemed adamant about Castiel eventually seeing.

"Star Wars, man. It's a classic. You can't go through life without seeing it."

"I've heard…mixed reviews about it. Just never got around to watch it."

"There's always time for Star Wars, Cas." He smiled, taking a bite of his food. Castiel swirled his pasta around his fork.

"Ok, give me something you like that you think I've never seen."

"Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"What?"

"It's a musical."

"Well no wonder I haven't seen it, Cas, a musical, really?"

"I think you'd enjoy it. It's creepy."

"So are you saying I'm creepy?"

Castiel snorted into his drink. "That's not what I'm saying. What I mean is that it is probably strange enough for you to counteract the musical numbers."

"Are the musical numbers creepy?"

"We should watch it so you can see for yourself." Castiel could feel his lip tighten. He had just implied about a second date. That was ok right? He did that ok?

"Alright then, next time, movie night." Dean winked at Castiel who felt himself blush.

The buzzing noise from earlier returned and Dean quickly pulled his hand under the table. He glanced down and then back to Castiel, who noticed the buzzing stopped. His phone, he thought.

"Sorry."

"Do you need to take that?"

"No, no way. It's not important…" Dean lifted his hand and reached over to Castiels'. Unfortunately, he knocked over Castiels drink, spilled the cold liquid over the table and onto Castiels' lap. Castiel jumped up at the sudden wetness on his pants.

"Damnit, Cas! I'm so sorry!" Dean began fumbling apologies as he grabbed some napkins and began wiping the table, attempting to stop anymore soda from spilling onto his date. Castiel took a napkin and wiped himself down.

"It's ok, Dean. Accidents happen." Castiel began to feel bad though. Dean was obviously upset over causing the spill. He continued to mutter apologies as he tried cleaning up as best he could. Castiel reached over and placed a hand on top of his.

"Dean, look at me." He whispered. Dean raised his lowered head and looked up into Castiels blue eyes. "It alright. Don't worry so much."

Dean smiled slightly and stopped his actions, watching the soda as it slowly dripped off the table. Castiel smiled.

"I think, however, it may be time for us to leave. I need to change." Dean nodded in understanding and flagged down a waitress, whose eyes widened at the sight.

"Can we have the bill please?" Dean asked. "Quickly."

The waitress disappeared and returned a moment later with the bill, which Dean glanced at before pulling out his wallet.

"Dean…"

"Don't even try, Cas." Castiel stood, defeated in his attempt to pay his half of the bill. "You can buy next time."

"Next time is movie night. Staying at home. Not exactly pricey."

"Guess you lucked out then. Let's go." Dean tossed some cash onto the table and the two walked out, glancing back at the table where the waitress was shaking her head and attempting to clean the mess.

They made their way to the impala and Dean walked over to the trunk, opening it. He pulled out a pair of jeans and handed them to Castiel.

"Extra pair I keep in here. Might be a little big, but you might be more comfortable during the drive." Castiel smiled brightly.

"Thank you Dean." He leaned over slowly, catching Dean's lips. Dean smiled into the kiss and pressed himself again Castiel. It was a slow, gently kind of kiss, but enough for both boys to feel the heat radiating off one another.

When they broke apart, Dean lowered his eyes to the ground.

"You can, uh, change in the back seat if you want. I'll stand out here and make sure no one sees."

Castiel, who was still recovering from the kiss, nodded and stepped into the back seat. He undid his jeans and slid them down his legs, all the while thinking that he was half naked in Dean's back seat, and that this wasn't how he imagined it might happen. He ran his hands over his boxers, checking to see how wet they were, accidently brushed his cock, which was half hard from the kiss, and the thoughts in Castiels head. He silently cursed his appendage and change into the other pair of jeans before Dean got curious as to what was taking so long.

I wish he would, Castiel thought.

Dirty mind, where did you come from?

Castiel climbed out of the seat, wet jeans folded under one arm. Dean looked down at the new pair.

"A little big, but they fit you nicely." Dean smirked, running a hand over Castiels waist. Castiel bit his lip to keep from moaning at the touch.

Dean looked at his curiously, licking his lips.

"I think it's time to head back. I know you have class in the morning." Castiels face dropped. He didn't want this to end. He could feel himself getting harder just from the slightest touch from Dean. Just looking at him made him want to do dirty things. Which he played in his mind.

Dean dropped his hand from Castiels waist and opened the passenger seat door, letting Cas sit before shutting it. Dean sat in the driver's seat and started the car.

"I wish we had more time." Castiel muttered. Dean looked over.

"Me too. However, aside from the spill, I thought it was fun."

Yes, it was.

It so was.

"Next time, for our movie night, we'll pick a better day. One where I don't need to work the next day, and you don't go to school. Deal?" Dean smiled.

"Ok, Dean." Castiel nodded, still a bit disappointed. He had waited all week for this, and he felt like tonight was not enough. He desperately wanted more, but he didn't know what.

Not that it was Dean's fault.

Dean was amazing.

Dean was what Castiel wanted. He just wanted more right this very second.

He knew it wasn't fair to Dean, but he couldn't help what he was feeling.

When they pulled up to the campus, Castiel stayed in his seat, staring down at his borrowed jeans. Dean parked the car and leaned back in his seat. He could tell something was wrong with Cas.

"Hey." He turned to Castiel and placed a hand under his chin. Cas looked up at him with hope-filled eyes. "I don't want this night to end, Cas, I gotta tell you, you're great. You're awesome. And…I've been trying hard to be a gentleman about this but…ah hell, I aint no gentleman." He leaned in close and gently pulled Castiels face towards him. Castiel could feel his hands gripping his jeans as they brought their lips together.

"Cas…" Dean whispered as he pressed on harder, placing one hand on Castiels thigh and running his fingers through his dark hair with the other. Castiel groaned, pushing his body against Deans. Castiels hands found their way to Dean's neck, pulling him as close as he could. He felt himself turning slightly, laying his back against the window as Deans tongue worked his way down his throat. Their hands roamed over each other's bodies, and Castiel moaned as Dean broke off the kiss and turned his attention to Castiels neck. He bit gently and ran him tongue over the small mark. He continued his descent to Castiels chest.

Dean scooted closer, pushing his hips against Castiels. He nibbled on Castiels collarbone and slipped his hands underneath his shirt. Castiel dug his fingernails into Deans back as he arched into him.

"Dean…Oh, Dean…" he sighed, biting his lip as he felt lips, tongue and fingers touching his body. Dean grunted in response, grinding his hips against Castiels. Cas could feel Deans cock pressed hard against his own. He threw his head back and grabbed Dean's waist. Dean brought his mouth back to Castiels, their tongues entwining as they rocked back and forth against each other.

Castiel felt his breath hitch as he came close to climax, and Dean placed their foreheads together, closing his eyes. His breath was ragged as he rubbed against the slightly smaller man, willing his release to come.

Castiel felt lightheaded as his breath quickened and the windows fogged up. He was so close.

When he came, his body felt like it had been on fire and with his release came the urge to hold Dean and never let go. Dean arched his back when he finished, and sighed against Castiel, kissing his lips once more before helping him up in his seat. Castiel adjusted his shirt and looked down at his jeans.

"So…I've never ruined two pairs of jeans on one date before…"

"Well, hopefully that makes this date memorable." Dean laughed, grabbing Castiels hand and kissing the knuckles. "You were great."

"I can't complain about you either." Castiel smirked. He looked down at his watch and sighed. He really should go.

"So…I'll call ya tomorrow?" Dean tilted his head sideways and grinned. Castiel nodded.

"Can't wait." He leaned over to kiss Dean deeply and made his way to his dorms, looking over his shoulder at Dean as he watched him walk away. Castiel managed to make it to his room without hyperventilating.

Tonight had been a win.


	7. Chapter 7

The next few days went by quickly for Cas, work at the shop, studying for the following week, and casual conversations with Dean when he showed up at the school. Dean and Castiel talked occasionally on the phone, though Dean said he had a lot of work at the garage to take care of. It didn't stop him from texting on his breaks, and calling before bed. Castiel treasured those moments, knowing Dean was taking time out of his day to think about him, and let him know just as much.

Castiel still had his doubts; it's who he was. He would occasionally think about Dean and how lucky he was to have such an amazing guy like him. But then, he would think about the women Dean had been with before, a 'notorious womanizer' as Sam had once put it. Castiel would worry himself with thoughts of Dean leaving him, deciding he wasn't really into Cas, or guys in general.

That maybe the 'extra work' was a woman on the side.

The thought made Castiel very angry, and very sad at the same time. He would try to put those thoughts aside, but he wasn't able to do it so easily. After all, wasn't it Deans wish to keep their relationship, or whatever they had, a secret from Sam, and basically everyone else?

Those thoughts bothered him but were put on the back burner when he heard Deans voice on the phone. Dean would talk to him, tell him about his day, make him laugh, and as about how Castiel was.

"I gotta say Cas, I know we saw each other earlier for a bit, but damnit, I'm missing you right now."

"I…I miss you too Dean."

"Really?"

"Of course. Do you know how hard it is to see you and not kiss you in front of everyone?" Dean chucked at that.

"I know, Cas, I feel the same way…I just don't know how to bring this up to Sam. I mean, it shouldn't be that hard. He's my brother, he'll understand." Castiels smile dropped when he heard the uncertainty in Dean's voice. He knew he shouldn't be the one to push to tell Sam, because Sam was the most important thing to Dean. What if, for some reason, Sam was unhappy about this arrangement? Obviously, if given a choice, Dean would choose Sam over him; it was no contest.

"It's ok Dean, I'm sure the right moment will come."

"I feel really bad though, Cas." Dean sighed. "It's not fair to you, to us. I…really like you. I keep thinking about other night in the car. It was the most fun I've had in forever. And not because of what we did, but just cuz I was with you, and I was happy and clumsy and you just smiled at everything. It was…awesome."

Castiel felt his heart swell at the admission from Dean. He had had the best time, and he couldn't've asked for more; though he had been wishing for more before the drive ended. But Dean delivered, perfectly, and completely made up for the spilt soda on his pants.

An incident like that wouldn't be enough for Castiel to leave Dean. He liked him too much, pined over him too much to care about something silly. He didn't obsess, at least he thought he didn't. But he wanted Dean to like him as much as he did. He hoped he felt that same tugging in his heart as Cas has.

"Don't worry about anything Dean. I'm enjoying my time with you. I can wait for you."

"Come with me on Saturday, Cas. After work we can go somewhere."

"I thought we were going to have a movie night."

"We can do that too, but I wanna do something else first. Wanna take you somewhere special."

"Ok, Dean, I would enjoy that very much."

"Awesome. Well, I should be going to bed. I'll text you later, Cas…" He paused as if to say something else, but after a moment and nothing else came, Castiel said his goodnight and hung up. He placed the phone on his chest and lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. It had become a habit nowadays, to access his day as he lay in bed. And after a good phone call like that, Castiel knew he would be sleeping soundly.

* * *

And Castiel did sleep soundly, so well in fact that he missed his alarm clock, so instead of waking up to his favorite song, an hour later he woke up to his phone ringing loudly in his ear. He groaned and nearly threw it across the room before realizing what he was about to do. He peered at his phone will one eye open to see his mother's name appear on the screen. He groaned again at his luck.

"Hello, mother." He said into the phone.

"Castiel! It's been too long since we've spoken! How are you?"

"Good, mother, just getting my day started. And yourself?"

"Oh, you know me, just trying to keep busy."

"So I hear."

"What was that, Castiel?"

"Nothing mother."

"Well, I just wanted to check in on you. Are you eating enough? Keeping your grades up? Do you need me to send you anything?"

"No of course not mother. I am ok. Eating just fine. School is fine. Everything is fine."

"That's very good to hear. You know you can talk to me about anything!"

Oh, if only that were true, he thought.

"I will be expecting you to come down here for thanksgiving, Castiel."

"Yes mother, but that's not for another month and a half."

"I know that of course, but I like to get a head start on the planning. Will you be bringing anyone?"

Castiels heart pounded in his chest.

"Uh, no, just myself."

"Oh, pity. Well, I'll keep a spot next to you open on the seating chart if you change your mind."

"Mom…"

"Now, now Castiel, you know I worry sometimes. I know you're still young, but your brothers both found their lovely wives when they were still in college and look how happy they are. I just want the same for you."

"Yes, but-"

"No, no buts. Just keep your chin up, and that perfect girl will come along one day. Perhaps she is closer to home than you think…" Castiel could almost hear the smirk in her voice.

Gabriel had warned him that she might be up to something. His mother had always worried about him growing up, not having any regular or long time girlfriends, she had this notion that he would be alone.

'I just want my baby happy.' She used to tell him.

Castiel wished she knew what it was that made him happy. What made the day brighter for him. The gender, and now person in particular, that he wanted to bring home to the family, even after such a short time.

There had been one relationship his senior year with a guy named Balthazar. He was witty and clever, and charming. Castiel had begun to think that maybe that had been the guy to help him come out to his parents. He came so close to doing so. Until he found his lovely British boyfriend making out with another guy in the bathrooms. Needless to say, Castiel never came close to coming out after that.

No guy before could make him want to so badly. Except Dean. Dean was different. Dean was Dean. Funny and sweet, handsome and he could tell them was a bright soul hidden inside of him. He also knew Dean was smarter than he let on. Dean was full of life; he could tell with every conversation, every laugh. He was falling in love with him.

"I know mother." He said, sighing. "I will let you know if plans do change."

"Alright Castiel. Do not be a stranger. Please call me. And you don't live very far. We could always do well with a visit.

"Oh, no mother, I'm so busy with school, I wouldn't have the time to drive all the way up there."

"Oh, you're right. Don't want to take away too much of your day. Love you, dear, goodbye."

"Goodbye." He hung up the phone and tossed it on the blanket next to him. Nothing like his mother to wake him up completely from the beautiful dream he was having about Dean and a can of cool whip.

* * *

Castiel received a text from Sam the next day about him catching a cold and not coming to school. Cas told him to get well soon and continued on his day. Every once in a while he would receive a funny text from Dean, and it kept his spirits up. His head hurt from thinking about his schoolwork, and he let Dean know as much.

_Ur a tough cookie Cas, you'll survive _

Castiel smiled and shook his head.

When they school day was over for him, he sat down on a bench and looked up at the sky. It was a lovely day, cooler than before, with autumn peeking over the horizon. He stared at the clouds, finding pictures and shapes in them. He lay back on the bench, putting his elbows on it and zoned out the world for a few minutes while he looked up.

The only thing that brought him out of his musings, was a figure sitting down next to him. He could feel the person staring at him and he slowly turned his head towards the person. He found a tall, red headed girl smiling sweetly at him.

"Hello, Castiel, right? I'm Anna." She held out her hand for him. He shook it gently.

"Hello, Anna."

"I just want to say, I heard you read your research paper in front of class today, and I was very inspired by your writing."

"Oh, thank you. It was nothing." A lie. Castiel worked for day on that paper to make it perfect. Nature versus nurture was a touchy topic for him.

"It really was brilliant. I think it opened up a lot of people's eyes. You should do that for a living. Writing, that is. I think you could change a few things if you really wanted too."

"Well, I appreciate your feedback. I will keep it in mind for the future." She smiled shyly at him.

"Were you busy at all this afternoon?" She asked. Castiel thought for a moment and shook his head.

"No, I'm all done with classes. Just enjoying the sun before going back to my dorm."

"Oh, well, if you're not busy, do you want to grab some coffee or something." Castiel opened his mouth to respond but found himself suddenly silenced. He didn't know how to respond to her. His brain was telling him that she was clearly hitting on him, but his heart said she was just being friendly, and it was good to make new friends. Before he could reply, a hand came down a clasped onto his shoulder. He jumped a bit, startled at the suddenness, but when he looked up, he saw the smiling face of Dean standing above him.

"Hey, Cas, thought I'd surprise you. Wanna grab a late lunch?" Castiel grinned. He turned back to Anna.

"Sorry, Anna, it looks like I do have plans after all. Rain check?" He stood and Dean grabbed Castiels backpack from the ground, swinging it over his shoulder. Anna stared, mouth open slightly as she assessed what had just happened. Castiel looked over to Dean, who smiled and placed an arm around Castiels shoulder as they walked together to Deans Impala.

"So, what was that about?"

"Oh, Anna? She was complimenting one of my papers from class, and then asked me out to coffee."

"Coffee huh…were you going to say yes?" Castiel looked over at Dean, who was staring at the ground, avoiding his gaze.

"Would you have minded? After all, it's not like I was attracted to her."

"What? No, of course not! I was just wondering is all…"

"Dean Winchester, are you jealous?"

Dean puffed out his chest. "Jealous, Cas, come on, I don't get jealous."

"You sound a little jealous."

Dean looked over at Castiel, his eyes open wide. "Am not…just…want you to remember you're mine…I mean...not like mine mine, you're not an object, but what I mean is…" Castiel smiled as he watched Dean fumble with his words.

"Dean, do you want to be my official boyfriend so you never have to worry?"

"Yeah, Cas, I'd like that."

"Well, I already felt that way about us. So, now we have a title for what we have." Dean smirked at the comment and kissed Castiels temple.

"Awesome." He stated. "Now, let's get going. Chinese sound ok?"

* * *

Castiel enjoyed his lunch with Dean, who accompanied him back to his dorm. They sat and ate their takeout at the tiny table in Castiels room. When they were done, Dean looked around the room at Castiels belongings. He flipped through the many books that were scattered along Castiels half of the room, and made comments about the posters on the wall. Castiel enjoyed sharing his world with Dean, even if it wasn't much to share.

They ended the day by promptly putting a tie on the doorknob and making out, and by the time Dean left, Castiel was satisfied with his current love life.


End file.
